Romans 12 (The Message)
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
I never had the money to tithe, but it didn't bother me. I thought that being there was enough. Many times the hangover was so bad that I was literally just a body taking up space. One person, one being, made this all possible.
God. God gave me life every day. God made it possible for me to party away $5000 in 3 months. There is a passage in Corinthians where it says that God will not allow Satan to temp you more than you can handle. I believe that with all my heart. When I stopped to think about it I was blown away. It was obvious that God thought I could handle a lot. I knew that I could, but why? Yes, I woke up in guilt every morning. I never had sex, I never did hard drugs like some of my friends, AND I went to church on Sundays. At this point I can see God looking at me and saying "What? Do you want a cookie?"
"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking." Although I woke up with a headache and the taste of well liquor in my mouth, I always managed to do it again. Some people have to fall really hard so God can pick them up and put them back together. I embraced my hard head and called it strong will. The drunk friend on the couch the next morning was already reminiscing about the night before and there I was sucked back into the downward spiral. Deep in my heart, I did not want to be there. I envied my counterparts that spent summers in Africa and Honduras. Meanwhile, I was working at a Golf Course saving money for the coming semester of partying. I was a closet Christian.
I didn't have a problem with anything. People still knew there were certain things I would not do and they were aware of my beliefs although they weren't apparent in my daily life. Every once in a while I would have a moment where I would say to myself, "what about me says that I am a Christian?" I knew the answer was nothing but I could always find something, something that made me better than the fraternity brother on the kitchen floor next me passed out with the other ice cream carton in his hand.
"Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. " Easier said then done I thought. I found that the times I even remotely tried to focus on God brought a smile to my face. I sat there in my room and smiled and laughed in the irony. What was ironic? I was worthless to God. He loved me. (He still does) I came to school with this thought that I was going to change the world and school changed me. When I say school, I am talking about the experience, not the actual education part, that part was excellent.
I was focused on God for about 8 hours when someone in my building invited me over to slay 40 beers between 5 guys. Drinking didn't make me happy. God made me happy, fellowship made me happy, and family made me happy. It was so much easier to what 95% of my university was doing. I didn't know moderation. I had 2 speeds, Yes and No. I normally went with Yes.
But when I went with No, those were the times that I let God shine through. When the message translation says “You’ll be changed from the inside out,” it is no joke. My values were realigned. My weeks were more productive. I could look at my schedule and know that everything that was on there was attainable and it diffused my anxious mind. I am in no way saying that saying “No” to alcohol is the only way to be a Christian. What I am saying is that as a struggling college Christian the times I said no were the most productive for my faith. I have since learned the meaning of moderation, but it took me 5 years.
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