Romans 12 (The Message)
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

“Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.” Responding to God is like listening to a professor’s deadlines. If a professor tells you a paper is due on Thursday and you turn it on Thursday you get full credit, the highest reward. If the professor lets you know 2 weeks in advance and you act immediately you have 2 weeks to write a paper. On the other hand, you can wait till the last second and turn in a weak paper and get an average grade. God wants the best for us and he wants us to listen to him actively. I was once heard a speaker say “I became a believer when I was 10; I didn’t start listening to God until I was 25. What a waste!”  I have to agree with him. 15 years knowing about what God has to offer and yet ignoring it. So much spiritual growth lost. So many years of joy that were sold for what? A chance to fit in?

“ Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Our culture in 2009 is sometimes mind-blowing. I have seen girls do outrageous things for attention. I have seen men and women with no self-respect or dignity. Our culture says that the key to life is tolerance and moderation. Our culture says a little weed is ok. Our culture says sexual promiscuity is Ok. I was once naïve to the drug culture that lies beneath but I come across it more and more. The amount of people that I know that do cocaine has been one of the most surprising facts I have ever encountered.There are real problems out there, in people you would never expect. The amount of Christians I know that have regrets regarding their virginity is astounding. Look at the people that people that get the most attention, that make the most of their lives. These are the people that have gone against the grain. The saw the odds were bad and they went for it anyway. 

I have been a part of this culture. When I say a part, I literally mean a part not everything that I talk about is something I have been a part of. I was always careful to not let in completely engulf me. It was my way of pretending I was in control. I always prayed and repented for what I had done, but had I truly repented or was this just another formality? My guilt took over my life. I began to drown. God may have wanted to bring the best out in me, but the best was deep down inside and I didn’t want to let it out. My addiction to partying became my end. I kept my depression a secret until the day I landed in jail. The day I will remember for the rest of my life. Something I will address at some point. I don’t talk about it to many people, even though it may be the strongest part of my testimony. I hope that one day I will be more open. Until then, I will write this blog. 

 
 

Romans 12 (The Message)  
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

I never had the money to tithe, but it didn't bother me. I thought that being there was enough. Many times the hangover was so bad that I was literally just a body taking up space. One person, one being, made this all possible.

God. God gave me life every day. God made it possible for me to party away $5000 in 3 months. There is a passage in Corinthians where it says that God will not allow Satan to temp you more than you can handle. I believe that with all my heart. When I stopped to think about it I was blown away. It was obvious that God thought I could handle a lot. I knew that I could, but why? Yes, I woke up in guilt every morning. I never had sex, I never did hard drugs like some of my friends, AND I went to church on Sundays. At this point I can see God looking at me and saying "What? Do you want a cookie?"

"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking." Although I woke up with a headache and the taste of well liquor in my mouth, I always managed to do it again. Some people have to fall really hard so God can pick them up and put them back together. I embraced my hard head and called it strong will. The drunk friend on the couch the next morning was already reminiscing about the night before and there I was sucked back into the downward spiral. Deep in my heart, I did not want to be there. I envied my counterparts that spent summers in Africa and Honduras. Meanwhile, I was working at a Golf Course saving money for the coming semester of partying. I was a closet Christian.

I didn't have a problem with anything. People still knew there were certain things I would not do and they were aware of my beliefs although they weren't apparent in my daily life. Every once in a while I would have a moment where I would say to myself, "what about me says that I am a Christian?" I knew the answer was nothing but I could always find something, something that made me better than the fraternity brother on the kitchen floor next me passed out with the other ice cream carton in his hand.

"Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. " Easier said then done I thought. I found that the times I even remotely tried to focus on God brought a smile to my face. I sat there in my room and smiled and laughed in the irony. What was ironic? I was worthless to God. He loved me. (He still does) I came to school with this thought that I was going to change the world and school changed me. When I say school, I am talking about the experience, not the actual education part, that part was excellent.

I was focused on God for about 8 hours when someone in my building invited me over to slay 40 beers between 5 guys. Drinking didn't make me happy. God made me happy, fellowship made me happy, and family made me happy. It was so much easier to what 95% of my university was doing. I didn't know moderation. I had 2 speeds, Yes and No. I normally went with Yes.

But when I went with No, those were the times that I let God shine through. When the message translation says “You’ll be changed from the inside out,” it is no joke. My values were realigned. My weeks were more productive. I could look at my schedule and know that everything that was on there was attainable and it diffused my anxious mind. I am in no way saying that saying “No” to alcohol is the only way to be a Christian. What I am saying is that as a struggling college Christian the times I said no were the most productive for my faith. I have since learned the meaning of moderation, but it took me 5 years. 

 
 

Romans 12 (The Message)
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

The Power of Generosity

As students we are often raised to live a normal life. What if we were to live that normal life but for God? In January of 2009 I made the decision to go on my first ever purely Presbyterian college retreat. I was 23. I had never been to a retreat in such a small setting. They kept saying this was one of the biggest college conferences they had to date. The last conference I had been to was Passion 2007 in Atlanta.

I'm talking about a conference that filled the Phillips Arena where the Atlanta Hawks played and also filled an overflow room with 10,000 more people inside the Georgia World Congress Center across the street. Artists, like Charlie Hall, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, and Tim Hughes (author of Here I am to Worship) led the worship for 4 days. Speakers like Beth Moore, Luis Gigglio, and John Piper inspired me to success in my undergraduate studies.

Then, there I was, in Montreat, North Carolina. The nearest neighboring town was Black Mountain, North Carolina. The one good thing I was thinking about was no distractions. The theme of the weekend was Outrageous Generosity.

Outrageous: exorbitant: greatly exceeding bounds of reason or moderation; "exorbitant rent"; "extortionate prices"; "spends an outrageous amount on entertainment"; "usurious interest rate"; "unconscionable spending"

Generosity: the habit of giving. Often equated with charity as a virtue, generosity is widely accepted in society as a desirable habit.

In my opinion these words together could quite possibly be the most powerful duo a Christian could imagine.

Getting back to the verse though, in this passage Paul is calling Christians to give their lives. Their ordinary lives, so simple in being, so insignificant and use them to the glory of God. Its incredible seeing my friends who have truly lived the Christian faith and to see how comfortable and confident they are in life, God has truly blessed them. They have given generously and for that God has been by their side.

At the same time, I could see my life. The drinking, cursing, always trying to get ahead of the game, and blending in was worthless. Sure, I had a ton of friends but I could sit and count the amount of true friends I had. I went to church on Sundays because that was part of the routine, not an integral part of my life, but it kept me balanced. I also got an incredible meal out of it every Sunday. Our church had a "college cafe" and couples would volunteer their time to cook a meal on Sundays after church for the college students.

I was miserable. Party for six days, repent on the seventh. That was real, that was my life. School and work during the day. Drink at night. I had a schedule. Mondays, I would go out to midtown. Tuesdays, I would not go out. Wednesdays, I would go out, all you can drink for $7. Thursday, we would all head downtown. Friday, it was back to midtown and then normally a late night house party. Saturday, that was football day. Sunday was left for church in the morning and homework in the afternoon. We called it "the struggle." It was expensive to party that hard, it was hard on the body and it was hard to keep grades up. If my grades fell I would have to go home though. I was having way too much fun to mess it up.