My Struggle

This site isn't just about struggles with obvious outright sin, it is also about internal struggles with obedience and other things that people don't see. Its not always about your witness, sometimes you need some God time. From the last time I posted I have been struggling with what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I stopped posting here because I wanted take a step back.

Am I fit to give advice? Where is this ministry going? I was freaking out! Well I came to the conclusion, that I want my boss to be God. I know that sounds funny but it has been quite a journey. I'm not going off to Africa to feed children; I am staying right here in my quiet little job, in my office of seven people, but God is my new boss. Sure, I still listen to my boss here at work, but this job was given to me so I could do God's work.

The conversations are sparse, but people notice. I wear a ring on my left hand my Dad gave me when I turned sixteen and it has an ichthus (Jesus Fish) on it. It often stirs up conversations. When people start telling college stories about crazy party nights, I refrain from telling mine. Those stories are not helpful to my witness. Yes, those nights happened, and even though they don't happen anymore, the stories take away from my witness when not used in a proper context.

The only time I find those stories helpful is when I'm trying to relate to someone what God has done in my life. It's not water cooler talk. I really have to make sure that people get the point of why I am telling them that particular story. Its weird because I had no idea what I wanted to do, then all of the sudden I get an email about a job openning from a friend and it sounds awesome, and now I have a great job and great place share the gospel. I know that God has a path for me and I am excited to follow it, even if it is blindly.

I go back to school in August, its time to finish that thesis. Its not going to be easy, a lot of my friends have returned as well. I could have gone to any school and started over, but I would have been running from my problems instead of confronting them. I always like to say, "Its Game Time." I don't know why, and I try to keep it to myself, but saying it to myself every morning reminds me temper my actions with wisdom while I am at work and in any setting, because I work for God now.

Thanks for reading